Ode to the shopping gods...

But this is mostly about Amazon.

First I'll get the non-Amazon stuff out of the way.

First: Khol's cash.

The tag line: "It's like getting paid to shop!"

Except it's NOT. Sure you get 'money' back, but it can only be used at Khol's, and only for a few days at that. Plus, invariably you'll end up buying more than the 'cash' you've 'earned' shopping.

Once again, you end up being the one paying to shop.

To be sure, this is a step up in cleverness from the 'Here's coupons for your next visit' approach at checkout.

FYI, those discounts would have been handy five seconds ago!

I understand where retailers are coming from. They REALLY want to control our shopping habits/urges/splurges by getting us to more regularly come into the store and overspend. They need dependable receivables, I get it.

That said, they don't seem to give a thought to what's actually convenient to the customer.

I have stacks (okay, they're recycled now) of outdated 20%-off coupons from Babies R' Us because they were only good for 2-5 days RIGHT after I've come to stock up on diapers, food, whatever.

Seriously, BrU, know YOUR customers! No one wants to come back for diapers two days after buying diapers!

Speaking of buying for baby, I've created a lovely segway to my next topic: AMAZON.

Reader, you may say, "Girl, don't do it. Don't bite the hand that feeds you Vine and fuels your annual ABNA hopes."

But I can't help it.

Ammy IS the double-edged sword.

Diapers.com...



As in, Ammy bought it. Why? Because they're not stupid. Nobody spends money worse than a drunken sailor except for first-time parents of a newborn.

The first three months often left me and my hubby in a panic for something I swore I wouldn't get and suddenly needed NOW (that's how BrU got our patronage). Anything that could wait for 2 days, we went straight to Diapers.com because dragging a young baby out of the house to buy diapers, wipes, ANYTHING...sucks.

Yeah, I said it.

So, Ammy's gamble is they will now have a better prediction mechanism for people who'll shop online AND what types of things they generally get (renewables, disposables, organics, conventional, etc.).

The better to target you with, my dear.

If they can reliably send attention-grabbing emails to you and get you to buy the stuff in it because they know you better than you know yourself...they win.

My personal complaint about all this is: I already shop like a drunken sailor at Ammy and based on my purchasing patterns, I'm hugely surprised by things I get emails about.

Forget those emails, I happen to be part of their Vine program and though it has been long speculated their targeted newsletters aren't based on spending habits...I think I can now confirm that.

Why did I get that electronic mouse trap offered to me?

I've simply reached the point where I've blocked, turned off unsubscribed, recycle flyers without opening/reading because I'm done being told what to do by the shopping gods.

(Except I still happily participate in Vine...hey, if I took the mousetrap, it would be free anyway.)

If I wanted my life under someone else's scrutiny and control that much, there are certain family members I might reside with. Or, I would have never left home. Or, I'd do something to land in jail. Or, I'd become a politician.

Point is, I want to be as free as possible (lol) to make my choices with only a smidgen of help (I check out the Sunday ads and Daily/Weekly goldbox specials) but that's it.

On a final note about the shopping 'gods'...Amazon is running an insane contest where they're giving away 10 $10k Mastercard giftcards (hope they'll be usable given their Wikileaks dilemma...but that's another story...lol) to ONE winner based on 10-weeks of using a new Universal Wish List tool Ammy's developed.

I've entered each week because it's free and doesn't take much time. However, the time I do waste due to this contest is when I scroll down to the forums to read the thread titles.

Most start out like grade school theme papers or the little scraps of prayer papers people shove into some holy nook somewhere.

"If I won $100k, this is how I'd spend it..." I did that project in the 6th grade. I still have the list! Five-hundred Cabbage Patch Kids among other things.

OR

"First to God, then the rest..." Okay, these kind of headings feel more like they're laying their prayers at Ammy's feet rather than God's. Like somehow Ammy will sift through all the entries and pick 'the one' that is most compelling.

I do hope someine in need wins, that'd be a wonderful conclusion to this crazy contest.

But people listen up: praying to/through Amazon isn't going to get those prayers answered.

The shopping gods are hungry and want sacrifices of your money and not much of anything else.


Peace
A Pink American